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Separando o que é nosso do que é dos outros
Já comecei a fazer terapia algumas vezes. No início é uma coisa meio esquisita, falar de coisas íntimas com alguém que não tem nada a ver com qualquer coisa que tenha vivido, não conhece os detalhes das minhas histórias nem os personagens, mas também alguém que não deixará ser conhecido a não ser profissionalmente.
E aí, já abandonei algumas vezes, como parte do meu eterno processo de desejar estar no controle da situação. Daquela coisa incontrolável de tentar fazer tudo certinho, de conseguir fazer algo funcionar bem, de ser aprovada e também de me aprovar, de conseguir superar as próprias expectativas.
Mas pela primeira vez estou parando pra pensar no que é minha carga, no que é cobrança dos outros ou o que eles pensam de mim e se isso deve ser preocupação minha… Ok, tem coisas que qualquer um dos bons amigos já deve ter dito e eu devo ter ouvido, mas não consgui praticar.
Se colocar como prioridade pra quem sempre colocou os outros à frente de si mesma parece um crime, um pecado; é realmente complicado de fazer. Mas não deve ser impossível, só que pode ser bastante sofrido. Até porque a gente cresce internalizando que ser mãe é padecer no paraíso… Olha que absurdo!
Ser mãe tem suas demandas, batalhas, situações-limite, barreiras e conflitos com certeza, mas não deveria ser sinônimo de sofrimento, de abrir mão da própria felicidade, privacidade ou de viver coisas bacanas.
Tem gente que ama; tem pessoas que confundem amar com não querer ficar sozinho, com medo ou proteger tanto os seres amados que chegam a sufocar. Não quero estar entre os últimos. Mas sei que posso fazer isso e me tornar autoritária.
Pensar a respeito dos comportamentos que não são bacanas, que boicotam relacionamentos, que são repetições do que aprendemos com exemplos ou que temos porque é a forma que encontramos para nos sentirmos aceitos…
Por outro lado, temos coisas bacanas que nem percebemos, que desvalorizamos ou banalizamos, que não conseguimos perceber e que às vezes precisamos dizer para nós mesmos. E aí entra a terapia. Pra que consigamos dizer pra nós mesmos, direcionados pela competência de um especialista em sentimentos(!), aquilo que estamos precisando urgentemente ouvir pra podermos crescer.
Tem horas em que questiono tudo isso e tenho vontade de sair correndo, porque é a minha prepotência dizendo que consigo dar conta de tudo e de todos. Que abraçando o mundo eu me sinto melhor, uma pessoa boa, um ser mais “humano”.
Pensar nas coisas da gente é egoísmo? – Acho que estou aprendendo aos pouquinhos que não…
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sorties. Il n’y avait pas de personnage si imprévu, pas de péripétie, pas de
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Oi Ingrid,
deixei um selinho lá no blog para você!
beijo
flavia
http://mamaesabetudo.blogspot.com/
Olá Ingrid,
Meu nome é Cynthia, sou psicóloga e achei seu blog no blog da Vanessa (Fio de Ariadne e Mãe é tudo igual).
Gostei muito do seu texto. Ele é importante abeça, pq uma coisa que conversamos muito no consultório é sobre como as pessoas não valorizam a terapia!
Na verdade, fazer terapia é um cuidado que temos conosco, uma hora para deixarmos TUDO e pensarmos só em nós mesmos!
Temos um blog novo do consultório e gostaria de saber se posso colocar seu texto lá? como um exemplo sobre terapia a partir de um paciente
o endereço do blog do consultório é: http://cmultidisciplinaricarai.blogspot.com/
PS: A assinatura deste post é do meu blog pessoal.
Um abraço
Cynthia
Querida, pensar nas coisas da gente é fundamental. Só assim temos o tal do crescimento pessoal, do auto-conhecimento. É nos questionando e nos respondendo que vamos nos descobrindo e aprendemos a domar nossas feras. Eu ainda tento domar as minhas, ainda sou controladora e autoritária, muito mais do que eu deveria ou gostaria de ser, mas mudarei este traço um dia, tenho trabalhado nisso… ehehe
Ainda não busquei a terapia, apenas um período de minha vida, mas percebi que o forte daquilo não era o terapeuta e sim a conversa interior. Para isso, escrever me ajuda muito mais!!!
Beijos, Ingrid. Que sejamos capazes de nos encontrar!