“Eu menti quando disse que não te queria”…
…”Quando disse que minha alegria era viver longe de você” (…)
Como diz esse velho pagode do Só Pra Contrariar – sim, eu continuo tendo uma memória brega! – eu tentei me convencer de que não havia mais espaço pro nosso relacionamento em minha vida. Que tomavas demais o meu tempo, que estava focada apenas em ti, que estava até ficando dependente.
Talvez tivesse razão.
Estava deixando de participar de alguns momentos importantes para minha família, amigos, carreira, para mim mesma e me sentindo obrigada a estar sempre disponível, então passei a sentir um ressentimento. Ficava fula quando não conseguia postar, se estava cansada e precisava priorizar outras coisas ou mesmo quando me dei conta de que não estava correspondendo à altura do que me pediam.
Alguns instantes foram tensos, porque me senti cobrada, por ti e por mim mesma. Alguns dos possíveis parceiros de jornada foram ficando ao longo do caminho, ou porque os deixamos para trás, ou porque não entramos na jogada de “só comento se comentas no meu”.
Questionei tua validade por causa dos comentários que não entraram aqui e ficaram “perdidas” na rede, então também pensei que estava ficando neurótica, afinal estava querendo guardar as conversas todas para mim, como o Criatura, o personagem do livro “O Planeta Caiqueria”, que para não perder as histórias, as encaixotava.
Parei pra pensar que tudo isso era loucura, que não precisava disso. Que estava precisando desintoxicar. E a ajuda veio com a falta de conexão nos últimos dias de 2011 e no início de 2012 no litoral norte. E foi mais fácil do que pensava.
Confesso: nos primeiros instantes uma ansiedade tomou conta de mim, embora tenha levado livros, palavras cruzadas com temas do ENEM para me distrair, e realmente passei a maior parte do tempo em paz, só que o sentimento de desdém pela facilidade do desapego passou e comecei a refletir… Afinal de contas, até que ponto era culpa tua? Até que ponto me deixei dominar por ti? Acho que fui longe demais por pensar em te abandonar de vez, pois tu me desconstruíste ao longo desses anos e acrescentaste tantas histórias boas e felizes também! Agregaste pessoas à minha vida e eu não pude resistir e proponho que façamos as pazes e repensemos como vamos nos relacionar daqui pra frente, pois, afinal de contas, tu me instigaste a ir atrás de outros sonhos, que viviam dentro de mim e não tinha dado espaço para sonhar, quanto mais torná-los palpáveis. Percebi que também tenho por ti reconhecimento e gratidão. Mais que isso, tenho por ti amor. Passou a fase da paixão que cega.
A partir de agora proponho que nossa relação seja mais aberta, menos complicada e mais equilibrada… Topas?
Imagem: www.portaljovem.net.br |
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Olá,
Passando pra desejar-lhe uma semana abençoada e comunicar que estou bem afastada da net…
Meus blogs sumiram e tivemos que criar outros continuando os antigos…
Uma enfermidade me pegou de supetão e me distanciou ainda mias daqui pois precisei estar hospitalizada e agora, em “liberdade condicional”… ( dias em Hospital e dias em casa, entre exames, diagnósticos e outros)…
Assim que der, seguirei lendo seu post e me enriquecendo, como sempre.
Bjs de paz e esperança
hahahaha amei o posto, realmente…
seguindo o blog
retribui?
http://www.medicinepractises.blogspot.com/2011/01/tomando-pra-viver.html#comment-form
kkkkk murry com a imagem,rsrsrsrs…
Eu até que não tenho esse amor todo pelo blog, fiquei dias sem postar, mas tbém estava sem inspiração e contade, mas tenho uma necessidade de saber o que passa nas redes sociais…
Eu mesma coloquei uma regra e nos findi só entro pela manhã e vejo se tem aniversários e logo saio, tentei tbém ficar um dia em “jejum” de internet, preciso voltar…
Essa cobrança é que faz mal, bom saber que agora está mais centrada e a enxergando o que interessa mesmo…Bjs e vc fez muita falta, muita mesmo…
Tomara q chegue fevereiro logo,rsrsrsrs
queria convidar vc pra aprticipar do sorteio lá no blog, sublime, são dois livros bacanas com o tema Educação!
Passa por lá
abraços
http://www.sublimeamordemae.blogspot.com
A amiga sei bem o que passa!!! As vezes deixo o bloguito um pouco abandonado e que falat me faz viu?!
Agora me prometi que vou deixar fluir naturalmente… rs
Beijos
Débora
Oi Ingrid,
estou verificando os comentários do blog e percebi que não respondi a um comentário seu. Mil desculpas. Espero hoje me redimir de todo os que deixei passar sem responder.
Quanto aos preços em Gramado eu achei meio carinhos sim. Se paga para entrar em qualquer um dos lugares. É bom fazer uma verificação antes. Nos posts eu tentei colocar os links dos sites oficiais dos locais e eles normalmente trazem os preços. Acho que não adianta muito mostrar o preço nos posts pois estes podem variar e também fico com medo de msotrar um falso poder aquisitivo. As pessoas não sabem o quanto economizamos, o quanto tivemos de ajuda de avós, etc… aí podem achar que se tem muita grana e coisa e tal.
beijos e desculpa pela falta de resposta.
Chris
http://inventandocomamamae.blogspot.com/
Bom retorno ! Pelo visto não estou sozinha com a Cecília ( ai que intimidade !) quano digo que tenho fases como a lua…é algo feminino, mesmo ! Essa coisa complementar e tão “oposta” que acho ser a nossa alma e que transborda para tudo o que é nosso…inclusive o blog.
Não escrevo para os visitantes lerem…escrevo porque sinto uma enorme necessidade de dar vazão ao que vivo e penso…não conseguiria represar estes meus transbordamentos…Bjs ! Mammy
kkkkk! Eu tb tô assim! Não conigo me livrar dele!!! bjão
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
tbm fiquei meio desconectada e sem conseguir postar no meu canto.
confesso que tenho vontade de postar todo momento, mas muitas vezes rola preguiça.
tentei me desintoxicar tb, mas não consegui.
hahahaha adorei o post, ri muito.
beijokas
Ai que fofura de post…tá todo mundo poético nesse inicio de ano! Menina, a gente pensa mesmo muitas coisas e se cobra. Entrar no jogo do comenta no meu que eu comento no seu, hahaha, que piada… Já cobrei algumas pessoas na boa, pq nunca apareceram no blog e eu super frequentadora dos seus respectivos. Mas me arrependi. A relaçao com blog deve ser equilibrada e saudável. Chega de culpa e vamos nos divertir. Mil beijos!! Ah, sonhei contigo, nao me lembro, mas fou algo bom, pq acordei feliz com o sonho. bjs
olá..gostei do seu blog, li e já havia feito essa reflexão em relação ao blog. As vezes me pego pensando no abandono e o que me motivas é um número de grandes amizades virtuais e troca de experiências é maior e nos trazem alegrias e lições verdadeiras.
estou te seguindo!
Belo texto..
abraços!
http://aos25anos.blogspot.com/
AMEI teu texto Ingrid. Muito a ver comigo. Vou levando do jeito que dá, só do jeito que me dá prazer. Tenho postado pouco, mas com o coração. Ainda mais agora, nas férias, a preferência fica com a família, não é mesmo? Estamos aqui…
Bjos,
Tani – Mãe ao Cubo
Oi Ingrid,
essa desintoxicação foi ótima hein? As vezes precisamos né?
Eu tento segurar a onda e não ficar muito agarrada ao blog. Não me cobrar demais mas as vezes me sinto fora de foco e pensando no blog, aí me forço a ficar fora um tempinho. É bom, faz bem.
Que a relação de vocês nesse 2012 fique equilibrada.
beijos
Chris
http://inventandocomamamae.blogspot.com/
Olá vim lembrar que o meu SORTEIO PARA MADRINHA VIRTUAL ainda está a decorrer até ao dia 15/01/2012, se quiseres concorrer basta só carregares no VOTE e escreveres em comentário o numero que te saiu…Obrigada e muitos Beijinhos
Você fez uma falta danada. Mas agora entendi tudo, e fico bem feliz por saber que tá conseguindo enxergar as coisas. Bjo!
Estar conectada é maravilhoso, contanto que isso não se torne a prioridade de sua vida e sim mais uma forma de interação. Eu estou tendo que aprender isso na marra, pois isso aqui acabou virando válvula de escape para não resolver outras pendências. Equilíbrio é necessário para tudo, para isso não seria diferente.
Beijos, adorei!!
Ingrid, ótimo texto! adorei!
Tb já refleti muito sobre isto e já levei umas bronquinhas do meu marido por estar sempre conectada. Mas, acho que é um caminho sem volta, para mim, pelo menos, o blog serve como instrumento de reflexão, de desabafo e até de auto-analise. Sem falar na delicia que é escrever… Estaria mentindo se falasse que não quero feedback, quero sim, mas quero, antes de tudo, dar voz a esta mulher aqui escondida em meio a tantas outras que é obrigada a ser no dia-a-dia .
Bjs e estou feliz que decidiu por não nos abandonar…
kkkkk
Mas fora a graça, a história é linda. Também fico nessa relação de amor e ódio com meu blog, justamente pela falta do feedback, mas compreendo que também tenho pecado na hora de dar o meu feedback à outros e como não sou vista, não sou lembrada. Acho isso injusto, mas é a lei da selva. kkk
Volta e meia me dá uma preguiça de continuar com isso tudo, vontade de abandonar blog, redes sociais, internet e celular e voltar pras bibliotecas cheirando a mofo.
Mas aí o amor fala mais alto, essa relação que já me trouxe dissabores também me trouxe alegrias e vou em busca dessas,que são o que movem a vida.
Bjs